Photo Credit: ID 112582513 © Aleksey Korchemkin | Dreamstime.com
Communication with your spouse is one of the biggest keys to a healthy relationship, and yet it’s the easiest thing to fly out the window when life kicks you in the butt. You have bills to pay, kids to care for, a house to keep up with and let’s not forget to mention, a business to run! Your days get caught between checking things off a never-ending to-do list and simply remembering those things that need to get done. But communication, especially when it comes to creating your shared and individual visions for your future and realizing those visions, is the key to true relationship success.
How do you open the doors to this kind of high level
communication with your spouse though, when life has you in its monotonous
choke hold? It’s simple. And it boils down to the following 9 steps
for couples who desire ultimate success TOGETHER.
About 2 years ago, my husband and I started following these 9 vision planning steps for couples and it not only has allowed us to realize so many of our dreams and shared visions, but it has also made us ten times stronger as a couple. I share these with you and your spouse in hopes of creating a new flow of communication for you and helping to take your relationship to whole new level!
Everybody has the same amount of hours in their days, yet it never seems like there’s enough of it. The truth is, it’s not time, it’s priorities. You need to make the time, and make your relationship a priority.
Find a date for a 1-night (minimum) getaway. Make it a stay-cation, make it a day date, rent a meeting space, rent a hotel, rent a cabin, rent a house, whatever you have to do and just get away to remove distractions (aka dirty dishes, laundry, work, etc). It doesn’t have to be fancy. Whatever works with your time frame and your budget and allows you the space to think creatively.
Release the Mom Guilt
Leave the kiddos behind. This is a hard one for us mom bosses, but kids are by-far one of our biggest distractions and we owe it to ourselves, our spouses, our relationship AND our children and families, to take this time away with just our spouses to open those lines of communication and create a plan for our futures.
Dream out loud
So now you’ve made the time, you got away, you’ve released the mom guilt, now what? DREAM OUT LOUD. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and think creatively about your futures, both together and individually. What do you each want out of life? Ask yourselves what success would look like to you in 5 to 10 years. Where will you be? Who will you be? This can include everything from your lifestyle, your relationship, your work, career or business, your finances, your health, your family life and even your social or community life. When you begin to get fired up about the thoughts you are sharing, you know you’ve hit the sweet spot.. The bolder your dreams, the more stretching required, the more excited you get, you know you are there.
Set your goals
Now let’s think about those dreams, those visions you have laid out. What are 3 to 4 goals you can relate to each of them? (Remember that goals should be S.M.A.R.T.E.R.: Specific, Measureable, Agreed, Realistic, Time-bound, Ethical and Recorded.) Write your goals down for each vision item.
Create your action items
Now look at each goal individually and think up every action that must be taken to make that goal a reality. This might consist of just a couple of items, or a couple dozen items. Either way, let it flow. Write down every single little detail you can think of.
Now, we all know that not every thing we have on our plates at the moment is nested snuggle within the walls of those goals. (Think baseball sign-ups, birthday gifts, holidays, school functions, etc.) What else do you have going on, need to do, or need to remember? Take the time to write all these other action items down. Both of you!
Action beats excuses every day, and when you take the brain work out of it by creating your action item lists, it’s easier to make it happen. Simply prioritize your lists, divide the items and all that’s left is to go get it done!
Last, but certainly not least, is to revisit
your couples vision plan regularly. For
my husband and I, about once every 3 to 6 months is the key, with regular
weekly check-ins. Your spouse is your accountability partner and together you
can conquer your dreams!
Don’t put it off any longer. Plan a date. Let this month be
the month you make it happen! When is your next free weekend? Can you take time
off of work during the week? Decide on a location, find a babysitter and just
do it! Your relationship needs to communicate and vision planning with your
spouse is an important tool to open those lines of communication and make your
dreams a reality, TOGETHER!
Couples that slay together, stay together. Start slaying!